Tuesday, 17 January 2017

A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Yuki,

Well, hi. This is a first. I'm a little confused, to be honest. Am I addressing this to myself at a specific age? Or is this just to my younger self in general? How do these things even work? ..well. Anyway!

To be quite honest, I'm a little jealous of you (..me?). You're awesome. You're genuinely happy. You couldn't care less about what other people think of you. You're confident. You always speak your mind. You're everything a child brought up in a happy family should be, and I just.. I really wish I still had all those traits with me now.

I hate to make this depressing right from the start, but I have to tell you - you're going to grow up and basically kill your self esteem. Three words: DON'T DO IT. Don't listen to them. Worst decision of your life, 0/10 do not recommend.

I wish people knew how to think before they open their mouths. You'll hear it all - people will say you're fat. You're not pretty. Your eyes are too small. Your teeth are too crooked. Your nose is too big. All these childish comments that they make are going to affect your self esteem forever. Don't let it get to you. Your extended family is going to point out how much weight you've gained all the time - forgive them. They still love you. Your friend's mom is going to suggest that you get plastic surgery when you're older because you're basically the ugliest out of all your friends. I know you really don't want to forgive her (word of advice to everyone out there - don't give kids shit about their looks, especially when they're going through puberty. It's really going to fuck them up for the rest of their lives), but let it go. Just let it go. You'll learn to appreciate yourself eventually, so stop letting these words hold you back.

(Spoiler alert: you'll get braces and contacts and you'll learn how to put makeup on. You'll be okay. Please don't cry at night anymore thinking about how ugly and fat you are and how no one will ever love you, because you are loved, I promise.)

Here's some advice for when you get older, too - stop letting people walk all over you. Stop saying 'yes' when you want to say 'no'. Stop being nice to people who don't deserve it. Life is too short, and you don't have to live to please others. You're your own person and you deserve to do what you think is right for you. It's okay to drop people from your life who don't make you happy, because they're just holding you back. This is a lesson that I'm still learning to this day, but it gets better, trust me. Also, you don't have to compare yourself to other people. You're never going to be the most beautiful, smartest and most talented person in the entire universe, so don't worry about it. Just focus on yourself and on becoming the best that YOU can be.

Make sure to spend more time with your family. When you get older, you're probably not going to see them so often, and I don't want you to ever regret not spending enough time with them.

Oh, and you're going to live in Korea for a while, after high school. It'll be one of the best experiences of your life and it'll change the way you see things for good. Enjoy it! Make sure to savour every moment, because time goes by a lot faster than you think..

No, I haven't figured my life out just yet, if you were wondering. I'm still just as clueless as you are. But things are definitely different now - I'm happy. Not quite as lively as you are, but I'm getting there. I have people in my life that I love and appreciate so much, who love and appreciate me right back.

I'm proud of you! I know I can't turn back time to change my actions and my thoughts, but it's okay, because everything that's ever happened to me made me who I am today. I'm so sorry I let the hatred and self loathing consume your mind, because you are so much better than that. Don't let anyone dull your shine. No matter how life will turn out in the future for us, I know that we can make it. Because you matter. Because I matter.

(By the way, ask mom to help you fix your eyebrows someday - the earlier the better. Trust me on this one.)

Love always, your (almost) 18 year old self.


  1. Noah Fence says that he's proud of how far you've come and how far you're going to go. �� You are worth more than the stars in the sky.

  2. stay strong beautiful ♡


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